Cultivating the Experience of Therapeutic Presence

The following exercises reflect the model of therapeutic presence – particularly the four aspects of the experience of therapeutic presence: Grounding, Immersion, Expansion and Being With and For Another.

Grounding

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Grounding or feeling rooted is an extremely beneficial support for developing non-reactivity and to ride the difficult waves of emotion and suffering with greater ease. Grounding includes a bodily feeling of being steady and centered, amidst challenges or difficult experiences. A simple grounding exercise is to:

• Pause and breathe slowly with long exhalations – being aware of the rhythm of your breath
• Now rest your awareness on the soles of your feet. Notice the contact place where your feet meet the ground.
• Extend your awareness to the force of gravity in the core of the earth
• Breathe deeply while being aware of your feet and your body held firmly to the ground by the gravitational pull at the core of the earth.

Immersion in the Moment

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Immersion involves being intimately engaged with the moment. One aspect of immersion is absorption, which means being intimately engaged with life and with others. An exercise to heighten this absorption quality follows:

• Notice an image, object, person or sound around you that you can focus on – allow that image or sound to be your focus of immersion
• Pause and sit or stand in front of your focus of immersion.
• Breathe deeply and become aware of the rhythm of your breath.
• Now use your senses (look, see, hear, smell, feel) to take in all of the qualities of this immersion focus. Absorb yourself in the details of the image or person in front of you.
• Now close your eyes and visualize that image. Slowly open your eyes and sense the image as if it were the first time.
• Breathe in the qualities of that image or person while staying in contact with your own rhythm of breath.

Expansion

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Expansion includes having a sense of spaciousness. While we may be immersed in the details of an experience or emotion, with expansion there can be a larger sense of flow, energy and calm. This expansion exercise can help to enhance right hemispheric activity, which helps to relax the body, expand awareness and ultimately sense the whole of a situation. With your eyes closed, allow yourself to pause and move your attention inwards to the breath.

• Breathe naturally and see if you can be aware of the breath as a whole. Now move your attention to your body – allowing your attention to be aware of the body as a whole.
• Now with your eyes open, expand your sensory awareness to notice through each sense what is present in the direct vicinity around you, in this moment. Taking in the details of each aspect (seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, smelling) of what you are sensing around you, and then experiencing the whole of what is around you.
• You can keep expanding your awareness beyond the space that you are in to that of the building around you, the street, the community; the town; then the city; country, neighboring countries, the other side of the world, the whole of the earth and where it sits in the solar system.

Being with and for Another – Cultivating Self-Compassion

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Being with and for the other, includes being fully present with someone else in their suffering and experience. In order to be fully present and compassionate with others, we need to be able to be compassionate to ourselves. With self-compassion, we can generate a greater capacity for staying present and compassionate with and for others. The following exercise is adapted from Chris Germer’s Kristen work on self-compassion.

• Take a moment to pause, breath, and go inward.
• Allow yourself to become aware of a situation or relationship in which you are currently struggling with.
• Notice the difficult feelings and sensations that are present in your body as you think about this situation.
• Take your hand and put it on your heart – offering kindness to the suffering you are experiencing.
• Become aware of the shared suffering that is a part of being human.
• Find some gentle and kind words to offer to that suffering such as “I am here for you”, “I know how much pain is there” , “I understand” , “I love you”.
• Continue to offer yourself and that inner suffering struggle compassion, care, and love through your words and gestures.

Cultivating Presence In Life – Everyday Mindfulness Practice

Choose one activity that you engage in daily, such as: walking up the stairs, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, drinking a cup of tea, washing dishes, or opening your front door. When engaging in that activity, practice bringing your full attention to it. For example, if it is washing the dishes, then be present for picking up the dish soap, notice what the bottle feels like or the texture or colour. Allow yourself to feel the water on your skin, or the touch of the dish in your hand. Listen to the sounds of the water or the sponge as it wipes across the dish. Allow this activity to be a time where you consciously pause, and be present to the sensations that arise. You will begin to notice more of the subtle aspects of that experience.

Cultivating Presence Prior to Session – PRESENCE Acronym (Geller, 2017)

The acronym P.R.E.S.E.N.C.E reflects the eight steps for cultivating presence with and for the client. This pre-session practice invites our brain and body to activate the qualities of connection with self and others. Notice how it leads you through aspects of therapeutic presence such as opening and attuning to the moment, to yourself, to others, and to the relationship between what is inside (yourself) and what is outside of you (others).

• Pause
• Relax into this moment
• Enhance awareness of your breath
• Sense your inner body; bring awareness to your physical and emotional body
• Expand sensory awareness outwards (seeing, listening, touching, sensing what is around you)
• Notice what is true in this moment, both within you and around you.
• Center and ground (in yourself and your body)
• Extend and make contact (with client, or other)

Cultivating Presence In-Session – A Pause for Presence (Geller, 2017)

While there are many different ways we leave the moment, there are also a few sure fire ways to return. A pause for presence can be summed up in three simple steps with the acronym P.N.R.:

• Pause and invite three deep breaths
• Notice any physical or emotional sensations in your body in this moment, with acceptance and non-judgment
• Return to the sensation of just breathing
• When you are ready, transition to the next moment in your day.